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Men and women all over this country are discussing the finer points of this book.
Here are some discussion starters for your small group or if you are in a dating relationship:
The Journey Begins: Chapter 1

1. How do I know I'm not justifying "my decision with God's leading?" How do I know it is or is not God?

2. I understand it's important to "know myself, (and) know who I am becoming" but how do I do that? Where do I begin?

3. How can we recognize the difference between God’s leading and our own overwhelming desire for something?

4. It is critically important for men and women to be aware of who they are and who they are becoming. How does that process of awareness being? How can a man or woman assess their level of self-awareness? Who should they turn to for guidance in this process?

[Back to Study and Discussion Questions]
The Man You Are Becoming: Chapter 2

1. How do I know I'm not justifying "my decision with God's leading?" How do I know it is or is not God?

2. I understand it's important to "know myself (and) know who I am becoming" but how do I do that? Where do I begin?

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The Woman You Are Becoming: Chapter 3

1. How do I know I'm not justifying "my decision with God's leading?" How do I know it is or is not God?

2. I understand it's important to "know myself, (and) know who I am becoming" but how do I do that? Where do I begin?

[Back to Study and Discussion Questions]
Who's Your Comforter?: Chapter 4

1. Is it bad for someone to surround themselves with people who make the individual feel secure and comforted at all times?

2. Is God really enough in all aspects of life? What situations arise in life that continually cause you to stumble? In these situations, who or what do you turn to for comfort?

3. What are healthy ways to deal with loneliness, frustration, insecurity, confusion and anger?

4. What are productive ways to approach stress and boredom?

5. Is there anything wrong with wanting to be in a love relationship? How does a man or woman find contentment and purpose in their singlehood? How do we stop viewing singlehood as a never-ending season in our lives?

6. Are people called to be single? Why or why not?

7. What does a life characterized by contentment look like?

8. Can someone be content with their life and still be ambitious? Is ambition a negative attribute?

9. How do we recognize God’s timing and perfect will?

10. Is disappointment over circumstances a sign of discontentment? Why or why not?

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Experiencing Healthy Relationships: Chapter 5

1. How does one learn to have meaningful long-term relationships?

2. How does one deal with trust issues that hinder them from meaningful relationships?

3. What do someone’s same sex friendships reveal about how they will function in relationships with the opposite sex?

4. What is the best way for a man or a woman to “observe” or “evaluate?” How does a man or a woman avoid being distracted by the things that attract them to the individual?

5. Why is accountability important in same sex relationships? How is accountability established and maintained? Is it unhealthy for male and female friends to be accountable to each other? Why or why not?

6. What does it look like to be consumed by God?

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Got F.A.I.T.H.: Chapter 6

1. What to Do...When a man or woman makes a decision to “hold out” for the one God has chosen for them, he/she at times can feel as if good options are always passing them by. While a man or woman doesn’t want to lower their standards, a fear settles in that they may ultimately be alone. How does someone know if their standards are too high? How does someone know if they are settling?

2. What are some “tell-tale signs” a person is a phony rather than the real deal?

3. How important is it that both partners are virgins? What if neither are or only one is?

4. How is the dating relationship/courtship altered for single parents? When and how do you introduce/involve the child in the relationship?

5. At what point does the relationship become an exclusive committed relationship?

6. At what point does an emotional investment in a relationship shift to engaging the heart? How do you guard against such a shift?

7. Is there a set timeline for a courting relationship? If yes, how and by whom is it set? If no, how should the couple go about determining what is best for there relationship?

8. How does a couple identify the “ideal mentor couple?” How does this relationship work and how long does it last?

9.Is it wrong to have a list of expectations for a potential mate? Why or why not?

[Back to Study and Discussion Questions]
Our Story, "He Said...She Said": Chapter 7

1. The book suggests that men and women should be self-aware. How can a person who lacks self-awareness develop in that area?

2. Is teachability synonymous with obedience? How are the two alike? How are the two different?

3. Is it appropriate for a woman to observe a man before the man has stated that he wants to pursue her?

4. In pursuing Jada, Conway made it a priority to find out more about her by talking to people who disliked her. Why is this beneficial? How should this information be received considering an individual may have changed drastically since interacting with the people who dislike her?

5. If a man has begun actively pursuing a woman and has a list of questions for her, when and how should he pose these questions to her? Should the questions come all at once or over a period of time? Is the woman expected to answer all questions immediately or can she answer them at a later date? When should questions of intimacy be posed and answered?

6. What is meant in the book by “check-in points” during his/her observation? Why is this essential to do?

7. If a woman is being observed for a future relationship, how is she then also viewed as a sister in Christ? How does a manÂ’s interaction with a woman change when he begins pursuing her? Should it change? Why or why not?

8. At what point during the courtship should the man meet the woman’s family? And the woman his family?

9. What discussions, decisions and plans should a couple start making together as they prepare for marriage (i.e. choosing a home, joint finances, family planning, etc.)?

[Back to Study and Discussion Questions]
Take the Lead: Chapter 8

1. What does it look like for a man to lead with humility yet provide “certainty and security” in expressing his vision?

2. What does it mean for a man to provide a woman with security in the worldly sense? What does it mean in the biblical sense? Do the two ever overlap?

3. As a woman enters into a relationship with a man, should she be expected to give up certain things (i.e. professional goals, dreams, ministry work, independence, etc.)?

4. What does sound, effective leadership look like?

[Back to Study and Discussion Questions]
Frequently Asked Questions: Chapter 9

1. Is it possible that being nice can be mistaken for flirting? What are some of the differences between the two? How can the habit of flirting be broken?

2. Is it ever appropriate for a woman to share intimate/personal information about herself with her closest male friends? Why or why not?

3. “Just because a man goes to church doesn’t mean he is living by the Word of God” What type of behavior(s) should a man living by the Word exhibit? What are some indicators that a man is being authentic rather than “performing?”

4. If a woman has developed a distorted view of men based on past experiences, what can she do to correct that view, other than seek counseling?

5. What to Do...A woman meets a man that is a Christian – goes to church, active in ministry, reads the Word – but he still has habits of the world such as drinking and cursing (neither in abundance). Are these habits absolute “deal breakers” in pursuing a relationship or just flaws? Should this woman walk with him through these issues? Why or why not?

6. What are some examples of information that is and is not appropriate to share with your spiritual father?

7. How do you know if your covering as acting accordingly?

8. How involved should spiritual fathers be in the lives of their spiritual sons and/or daughters? Should spiritual fathers be involved in all areas of their lives or focus primarily on the relationships they are involved in?

9. Should a woman’s spiritual covering be married? Why or why not? What does the relationship look like between the wife and the covered woman?

10. How should a woman respond if she is approached by two men?

11. How does a woman recognize the man God has called to be her husband?

12. Would it be appropriate for a woman to share the information she has learned from this book with the man who has been pursuing her? In sharing this information with him would she be functioning as a helpmate or would she be taking the lead?

13. How should a man or woman approach/engage in a relationship with someone who has been divorced?

14. If a friend is attempting to “hook you up” or wants to set you up on a blind date, should you participate in this? Why or why not?

15. If a woman has discovered that a man is observing her, but he has not yet made a decision to pursue her, how is she to respond to and interact with him from that point on if she is interested in him?

[Back to Study and Discussion Questions]
 
 

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